


If it kills me, let it kill me

by GioseleLouise



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: As Fluffy as a Battlefield will Allow, Blood, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, If You Squint - Freeform, Pain, Streetkid V, Voluntary Possession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28943745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GioseleLouise/pseuds/GioseleLouise
Summary: “Sneaky enough for you?” Johnny drawls. There's something there; worry edging his voice and a question underneath it all.--Johnny Silverhand shows V that he cares.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V
Comments: 8
Kudos: 64





	If it kills me, let it kill me

Sleep crawls over V in inches.

Hiding behind the counter in the pharmacy seemed like a good idea at the time. V was bleeding, hot blood trickling down her flank from the chunk taken out of her side. The Animals were tight on her heels, and a pharmacy promised MAXDOCs and Health Boosters, and just enough cover to lie low without screaming ‘hiding place’. 

Too bad she forgot to factor in Pacifica. The shelves are picked clean when she gets there. Everything that should’ve been connected to the local network is smashed or stripped for parts, and there’s no way she could risk a Ping without sticking her neck out.

So she waited; clutched a shaky palm against the hole below her ribs and prayed that the Animals assumed she ran off. 

V waits until her heart slows, and the adrenaline's worn off. She waits until she can think beyond the mantra _shitshitshit I'm screwed_ racing through her mind. She waits until her calves burn and her pant leg is damp with blood.

Nothing's passed by the pharmacy since she hid, and now would be a good time to sneak out of here, but - the butt of her rifle feels ridiculously comfortable under her chin. V's eyelids are heavy too, and she's tired of staring at the counter's cracked paneling. She’s tired of everything, actually.

She doesn’t realize she’s drifting until Johnny hisses in her ear.

“You serious?” He’s crouching too, maybe so V can catch him scowling without straining her neck. “Hey. Wake up. Not exactly the best time to take a nap.”

“Isn’t it?” V jokes, and - oh, Johnny doesn’t like that. His irritation surges like a wave. V would rib him if her head wasn’t spinning from trying to stay vertical.

“If you’re going to get us both killed, might as well pick a better spot,” he says stiffly.

“What? The GIM not punk enough for the great Johnny Silverhand?”

White-hot pain strikes her temple. V reels, bites her lip to keep from screaming out, and slumps forward with a quiet groan. The Relic's blood-red warning dances across her vision, and she focuses on the letters to dull the bone-deep agony; it’s like a knife is pressing into her ear in centimeters. If the Universe has a sense of humor, timing a malfunction here and now is one hell of a joke.

“Christ, V!”

It takes a moment to realize that Johnny’s hands are tight on her shoulders, steadying. _That’s new_ , she thinks.

V and Johnny don’t touch; they can’t touch. The night they met was the only time, and they were both at a low, lost in grief, and trying their damndest to kill one another.

Now, V walks into Johnny, and Johnny pretends to knock V's supposedly shitty weapons out of her hands. They can’t touch each other. That's how this works.

V feels Johnny’s dread before she recognizes her own, and when it hits, she’s spiraling. The heat of Johnny’s hands on her skin is damning, as tangible as a slap across the face. This is the Relic consuming her, making Johnny more and more real at her expense. Regardless of what she does about the wound on her side, V’s crawling towards death.

Johnny recovers first.

“Let me drive.”

V snorts. “No.”

“Don’t be a gonk, you can barely stand. I’m the only one that can get us out of here, unless you can outrun a combat-enhanced boostergang.” Johnny’s hands tighten on her shoulders. “And don’t give me that bull about trust. Not gonna do anything more than get you to a Ripperdoc.”

 _What’s the point_ , she thinks bleakly. The thought isn't meant for Johnny, but with the state they're in, she’s not surprised that he hears it anyway. Johnny sighs. V shuts her eyes. Her weight presses against his palms as she hangs onto consciousness, and she can feel his exasperation.

"The point is, there's still a chance. VDBs know what the Relic is. Fucking think, V," Johnny chides. 

It's ridiculous. Totally backwards that Johnny is talking to V like she's irrational, as if Johnny wasn't the idiot that blew himself up in Arasaka Tower. 

“Switch back when you're done,” she mumbles, weak. “No pit stops and...don’t shoot up the place. Be _sneaky_. I don't wanna wake up with another hole in my side."

“Says the stealth solo that doesn't carry a fucking silencer. No idea how the hell you got this far."

V snarls, but she's too dazed to bite back. She’s breathing slow through the haze, and she wants sleep and she wants the ache to stop and she wants to let go. 

They don't even need the pills. V wants Johnny in the pilot's seat as badly as he wants to steer, and something snaps, or maybe it slides back into place. That should be concerning, but relief surges and everything feels too good for V to mind.

Exhaustion and pain vanish and suddenly, it’s like she’s in a BD. Johnny slides her rifle on his back and pulls out her jet black Nue. He huffs disparagingly, eyeing the dirt caught in its notched slide, weighing its lightness in his palm. Maybe he has a point about it being shitty. V should really carry something with more juice. Something with more style. Something chrome, perhaps.

Johnny creeps to the edge of the door, quiet. Moving smoothly, like he can’t even feel the wound in his side. He waits, listening for footsteps, then leans out the frame. Johnny spots a floodlight pointing towards the atrium and Ping lights up the local network moments later. Most of the Animals are on the ground floor or milling around the other end of the mall. Two are clearing the surrounding stores.

"You still with me, V?” Johnny asks. He holds the handgun against his chest and maps a path back to the entrance. “Talk to me. Can't be babysitting your psyche and saving your ass at the same time."

“M’fine," she says, and she means it. She feels great. Natural. It's like she's been fighting against a tide and she's finally given in. "Don’t worry about me, your window's closing.”

Johnny rolls his eyes. He sprints forward and slides until he's hidden behind bannisters overlooking the atrium. Optic Reboot confuses the gang member closest to them. His companion yelps, too concerned to notice Johnny sneaking behind him and snapping his neck. The blind one goes down seconds later with System Reset, and Johnny's already walking away when the body hits the ground.

V's only seen a handful of Johnny's memories, but her gut's telling her this isn't his style. Johnny Silverhand would be as obnoxious in a fight as he is in real life. She imagines him front and center with some ostentatious, custom-made piece, relying on shock-factor and pure fire power to mow his way forward.

This, the crouching and sliding behind cover, twisting necks and quickhacking his way through a situation with a sniper’s precision - this screams V.

“Sneaky enough for you?” Johnny drawls. There's something there; worry edging his voice and a question underneath it all. It's easy to pick up now that her brain’s not melting out of her ears.

"Preem," she says, playful and pleased. She’d grin if she had the teeth for it. "Not bad considering all those skills are borrowed.”

“I’m putting them to good use. You finally going to trust me, V?”

He’s seriously asking. She's blindsided, and Johnny stays tight-lipped as he presses forward, silent and playing by V's rules. The question is ridiculous; trust is a milestone they passed ages ago. Somewhere between breaking out Saul and merging Delamain, V started relying on Johnny's opinion.

She wonders how long he's had this on his mind. In the same instance, she realizes she's never told him that he stopped being the tapeworm. He's Johnny. It's the Relic that's killing her; not him.

There’s a long moment where she scrambles for the right words. Johnny moves through the stores, shamelessly unconcerned with the gravity of the conversation. It’s a confidence V couldn’t hope to emulate. Were their positions flipped, she'd never bring this up.

“You're getting soft on me," she says, eventually. If V had a throat, she'd clear it. She settles on sounding genuine. Warm. It feels unnatural, but she tries for Johnny.

"You saved me, Johnny. Of course I trust you. Have for a long time, now."

“Now who’s getting soft?” He scoffs, but his voice is all sweet relief, and they both pretend he wasn’t holding his breath for her response.

**Author's Note:**

> My fave part of the Johnny/V dynamic is the If You Squint Vibes. CP2077 just nails it - there's JUST enough softness for us to run with T.T
> 
> Thank you to Didi and Wendy for taking a look at this <3  
> Thanks for reading! Feedback is much appreciated - Come say hi @ giosele.tumblr.com


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